Alf and Elf's 26 New and Original Ways to Die: A - G
     
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A
A is for Atom bomb. We see Alf being squashed by atom bomb.

ALF'S WORDS OF WIZDOM- "Did you know 80-90% of the Alf paper is wasted?"

C
C is for Carbon De-Ionizer. We see Alf being sucked into the Carbon de-Ionizer, with blood shooting out of the nozzle at the opposite end.

AWOW- "Sticking Pencils up your nose and sticking underpants on your head doesn't work. Beleive me."
   B
B is For B*@?!$^d hot baking sheet. We see Alf being Decapitated by a particulally insane Chef holding a B*@?!$^d hot baking sheet.

ALF'S WORDS OF WIZDOM- "Never put your seagull in the cement mixer."

D
D is for "Don't"- We see Elf being impaled with a large, free-falling 'DON'T' Sign. We added a spike to the 'T' just for fun! Elf also feels a sudden twinge of Impending Doom.

AWOW- "Never Say Squeeble."

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F
F is for Frequent Flying Hours. We witness Alf piloting an F-14 Fighter Jet. The Wing has been blown off, and a teacher is, in the School below, Saying- "Did you know, the more often you fly, the more likely you are to crash."

AWOW- "Never Throw your Eyeballs at the Budgie."

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E
E is for Extremely high Voltage. We see Alf being propelled at a terminal Velocity towards a Nuclear-Powered Tesla Coil(As seen in Red Alert 2).

AWOW- "Never Sleep on Bubblewrap, or you'll never get to sleep on Bubblewrap."


G
G is for Gargantuan Growling Grandma. We see Elf being decapitated by a Grandma brandishing a rather crudely-drawn walking stick and a Crochet Bobble hat. Elf's arms are running away because they're so scared.

AWOW- "Never Play leapfrog with a Unicorn."
 
   
 

Useless facts about Alf and Elf and their brother, the aptly named 'usual doomed individual' from the Massacres.
Did you know that they have starred in over 70 'Comics'?